i'm in email correspondance with another writer and when in the midst of discussing these 'offers' i keep on getting from guys and the entire submissive aspect of dolls, she managed to sum a really good point which i totally agree with.
"It doesn't mean much if the person submitting to you means nothing to you.. or worse, if you have nothing but contempt for them.
A strong submissive is a good thing.
Not meaning strong in an arrogant or argumenative sense (who wants to always have to wrestle for control?), but in a self-aware, independent sense.
She doesn't *have* to submit to you like some pathetic beaten dog..
she chooses to give up control to a person because she wants to and feels the person is deserving of her.
It's important for someone to feel valued and appreciated even (and especially) when she is being degraded, disciplined, or dehumanized. So that she's not whimpering, but *shining* despite it all.
That's just beautiful. That's something special."
i believe this person has had experience on both sides of the fence too, so uniquely qualified to make this observaton.