Tuesday, October 03, 2006

in from the Dark....

or from Dark in reality but i liked the title. anyway Dark emailed me and i have permission to share it in public as its a very revealing to hear his personal experiences.

he wrote:

Thanks for the reply. Although your blog is very revealing... even as a scrap book.. the things which interest you enough to post.. the images.. etc.. these all do speak for you in a sense and give us readers a feel for who you are without explicit narrative.

But, heck, we readers, are lazy and reading between lines and drawing conclusions from images and fiction and so forth is not only hard work, but can really give the wrong impression...

I have experience with trying to hook up with kinky people when the internet thing fist offered this possibility. I don't know how long you have been into the net and the fetish thing and kink and dolls and so on but the net has really given rise to some robust alt cultures which are invisible on the street. But back then it was text based and connecting was very hard. I did reach out to meet some people in the "scene" or interested in kink and most were real disasters. Boy did I misread them.. their characters and their "chemistry". Most people willfull misreprented themselves or weren't skilled enough to do it with words or on the phone... so these blind dates were disasters.

As the net matured for options for kinksters grew by leaps and bounds (pun intended) to the point where e commerce gave us all acess to better and better gear with the click of a mouse. And there were groups and digital pics which was a real break thru because people no longer had to haver their kinky pics processed by a film lab... (possible exposure... even to the board clerks who decide to look at customers snap shots in the will call bin).. but they could snap a digital pic and post it in a profile.. or any pic for that matter. The medium became very robust and it also gave rise to numerous niches like the "rubber doll" thing.

I am not sure how this concept was actually born... but having been interested in rubber for decades I saw nothing like it uintil just a few years ago. By the way my interest predates Allen Jones' work because when I was in London during a college summer vacation I came across two of his books will browsing in a boiok shop and bought them. I also have a lovely series of prints by an artist called Fornicon which is all sorts of B&W drawings of kinky females sex machines.. hard to describe. But the Jones book which includes all of the images YOU have posted of his work.. really "hit me" and made me realize that I was not the only one who obsessed on thiis rubber skin thing and so forth. His mind and mine seemed to be coming from the same place.

When the kinky movement came out with the net ... it was the BDSM crowd that seemed to be getting all the attention. Fetish as in latex was seen as "shallow" dress up and the "real deal" was SM and Ds and transactional "sport like" activities. Fetish was the fashion of kink not really a genre unto itself. But it ws to ME... I dabbled in the NYC scene attending some clubs which I thought were pretty awful. And I did attend the fetish centric Dressing For Pleasure ball where you could see the "latex / dress up / role play" approach was also "there". But the big alt tent puts all the BDSM things together and frankly many people are into SM and latex or bondage. Some people see it all as a great big menu and they like it all! Others seem to have more narrow and niche like preferences like the "rubber doll" thing.

My own theory about where it all came from is as follows. This is based on no actual facts.. just impression as my own mind processed what I saw on the net. Here's my theory.

AIDS brought a lot of people to consider noo body fluid exchange sexual activities.. and this opened up many to the whole kink thing which was sex, but rarely invloved the exchange of body fluids. Even when there was penetrations it was usually mechanical things like dildos and so on.

I suspect that some rubberists.. and why people are into rubber is a long rant.. but these rubberists who find rubber erotic and the holy grail of a rubberists is to be enclosed in it. Once someone finds tight rubber sexy to wear... as gloves, undies.. ior a hood, or stockings... they can't help but wanting a one piece garment to enclose themselves.

For them it IS about sex and there were already blow up sex dolls made of rubber which were used for sex .. why not port the idea from a rubber sex doll over to ME they thought.. and some people have literally bought blow up sex dolls and gotten inside them.. pretty cool actually. These fetish ideas are not unique... as I found out when I discovered Allen Jones... other's minds click like our own... not many.. but enough for it to be a "niche".

Intesect the I want to be inside a rubber skin of a blow up doll with I am submissive and I can be a sex doll for .. the person that would want that doll... but not the doll but the person who is like the doll... a kind layers of mind fucks. I read a story about a girl who discovered her BF's sex doll and decided to play a trick on him and actually get into it. I recall he kept it inflated in a box beneath his bed. So BF comes home and opens the box and she is in the doll suit... and he obviously realizes and loves the idea... was he fantaszing about his GF when he screwed the doll? So he makes love with her as a doll.. she finds it hot hot hot and he loves it. and she becomes his rubber doll. Very short telling of the story and I probably messed it up... but the point is that THAT story seems to be the seen of the rubber doll "meme". Most of the dolls are M2F and that is a whole other thing about gender bending roles in the fetish scene and latent homsexuality and denial.

But the idea od a doll.. something which we play with.. which we dress up (little girls) and which simply takes on the role and the character its owner wants is something which every girl with a Barbie is skilled at. Port that concept to an adult and why not BE a doll and be USED as doll to provide fun and pleasure and "whatever" to the owner of the doll. A dol role is the prehaps the ultimate submissive one... I am here for your "fun"... use me as you see fit. And so the doll "destroys" the real identity and a "iconic" doll... almost like an anime face is the look. And some of these M2F dolls are pretty good... but of no interest to me personally.

As a het male my interests lie in the Female who dolls... It attracts me because I like females who are turned on by being enclosed in latex head to toe.. I find the look infinitely more erotic than the hotest bod stark nakid. That's just me. Is anked Pan Anderson sexy? You betcha.. but rubber enclosed Pam Andersen is sexier... and even more so if she turly loves being that way. So I like females who like to be in rubber... not fashion rubber.. that's OK... and better than fashin jersey or cotton or denin.. my perference would be fashion rubber.. but that is for the street to broadcast that you are a perv... but not HOW you are a perv.

I've probably revealed more about ME than anything else in this email. If you want me to add to your blog... I would be honored. It is a bummer that the NYC scene is so weak fetish wise... Can't figure that one out. But even that.. not every is into fetish parties except in the carnival sense it is nice to be at a big ball with lots of people in rubber gear... You know they are going to be having some fun when the balls over. No?

Do any of you real life friends know about your fetish? Or only online friends? MY life is completely separated by a wall. My "sex lfe / fetish life" is not shared with "casual freinds". I may be odd like that.. but these are two separate worlds. When I go to an event... I don't come away with friends I might meet at Starbucks the next week. I have thought about it from time to time.. and will probably meet some kinky friends at the 11/11 miss ruber world event in NYC... but so far.. despite a long love affair with rubber and enclosure and a whole closet full of the stuff... I can't say I have fetish friends "real time".

But many do... and the social fetish scene is a new thing. It's not JUST being at a masked ball... it is being at a masked ball with your friends.

- so feel free to respond too him in comments.

if there are any other latex or fetish experiences you want to share then send them in and i can post them if they fit.

xx

8 comments:

Dark said...

Asudem,

I am reasonably embarrassed that you posted this email without any spell check or cleaning up the grammar...not the content... Anyway... I hope others forgive me for just slamming away at the keyboard and then hitting the send key. I trust they can read through the tons of mistakes... If you want me to do and edit and repost... I can do that... Send me an email. K?

SteveMND said...

lol, I wouldn't worry overmuch about the spelling and grammar, Dark. We all forgive you. :)

That said, some interesting comments. Regarding your comments about the internet causing an 'explosion' of connectivity between fetishists, I think it's true. I remember saying to my friends way back when that it doesn't matter if there are only two people in the entire world with a particular oddball fetish, they'll be able to find each other on the internet. I made this comment shortly after stumbling across a website that described, in excruciating detail, how to have sex with a car. :)

Also, interesting comments about whether or not our 'real life' friends are aware of our particular fetishes. I suspect it laregly depends on one's real-world neighborhood. I happen to live out here in the rural wastelands, where even the mention of anything fetish-y will give you odd looks, if not worse. Some of my friends -- mostly the ones I've known since college -- are aware of some of my interests, but not all. For example, my submissive nature and interest in bondage and BDSM is fairly well known, and we all joke about it every now and then (especially since one of my frind's wife is an opne dominant. What isn't known by them is my ASFR-ish fetish and my bi-curiousness. :) The subject matter never came up, and some of them probably wouldn't handle it very well anyway.

The internet is great in that regard, since there is a large degree of casual anonymity (I say casual because it's not really anonymous if someone's trying to find stuff out -- I remember one time I acidentally stumbled across a "persona" Yahoo profile of a freind of mine who apparently is and/or was a crossdresser -- but for most intents and purposes it's farily anonymous).

I recall that at one time, the ASFR newsgroup members had discussed about wearing a little wind-up key on a necklace or key ring to indicate their prferences in a subtle manner that only other ASFRians would be likely to recognize; kind of like the 'hanky' code (is that even used anymore?).

Not sure if that ever amounted to anything or not, but since then, I always kind of keep an eye out for such trinkets, just in case. :)

Dark said...

I thing that the idea of a fetish has opened up people to completely new fetishes... sexualizing "something".. be it robots or manequins... or in the case of this blog... dolls.. latex dolls.. full size barbies and so on.

Is there any limit to this?

Oneeyedjack said...

Dark,

As usual, your words are provocative and thoughtful. I feel compelled to expound on a bit of what you've said...

I separate my fetish life from the rest, but only in part. My immediate family and friends know what I'm into. In fact I show my mother various webpages where photos of myself and my girl ("Piglet" as you know her) at events. She thinks I look good in latex! LOL My closest friends, while pretty "vanilla," do find my proclivities amusing and I often tell them wild stories of "what I did last night." My kink is off limits at my work place as there is no need to bring it there. I don't however hesitate to go out in rubber with my girl, usually when we are on our way to a party. I live in Washington Heights, which as a prodominantly Dominican (and therefore conservative and Catholic) neighborhood, is probably not the best place to go running around dressed all rubbery. While I'm not ashamed of who I am, I feel it's best not to court trouble. We will walk to the nearby subway or catch a cab on the street in our gear though.

As you said, it seems the internet has brought people of diverse interest together like never before. I am a relatively shy person (no, really) and before the internet days, I had a lot of trouble connecting to like minded people in person. Through the internet, I can let my mind go, and leave behind whatever has held me back from doing so in the real world. Over time, that practice (if you will) dealing with people online has translated into me overcoming my shyness a great deal and making strides towards greater self-fulfillment.

So perhaps those that you've tried to connect to online weren't who they seemed to be. Perhaps you two just didn't connect. I've been there and through it all, I never gave up. Some ups some downs and in the end I've met a lot of really good, genuine people and a woman who I'll soon call my life - all of whom are complete and wonderful perverts!

And so just like any scene, be it in the real world or online, you get what you put into it. While the NYC scene isn't (from what I hear) as great as London, instead of complaining, DO SOMETHING to make it better and more like how you'd like to see it. Extend yourself to like minded people, graciously and respectfully. Open up at the risk of vulnerability and let people know who you are. Many won't like you, many will be ambivilant and some might actually take to you and end up great friends or lovers. Who knows? I don't have to tell you this stuff though, you've been on this earth far longer then I. Perhaps it'll help though to hear what you in fact might be thinking, coming from someone else. Someone who's been very lonely much of his life, but isn't any longer!

So I'll see you at the NY Rubberball and while I'll be there, performing with my pet and hanging out with various friends and acquantances, don't hesitate to introduce yourself. I am looking forward to meeting you face to face! Maybe we'll hit it off and become friends, maybe not. Either way it's always better to get out there and participate rather than sitting on the sidelines.

Be well Dark, AL, and others
OEK aka O_O

Dark said...

Oneeyedjack,

I like your idea of practicing fetish socializing online as a means to ivercoming "anxiety" when dealing with new people face to face.

In my case as noted in my email my quest really began in earnest at the net provided a channel... and back then it was not as robust as it is today... If you look at how much infor people can pack into a RubberPal profile and the fact that there are several (many) site, for example devoted to latex fetish.. the online community is truly a very different animal then it was when I made my first "attempts". With left information it was much more "hit and miss" and this was to be expected, despite the frustration.

As more people have self identified online as "X" it has made the connections easier and a better "fit" from the get go.

But along the way I met my wife and we are not really "into" the social fetish scene. That scene serves several functions and several of them are of no real interest to me... such as "public play/exhibitonism" and looking for a mate or play partner.

Then of course, there is the issue of "fetish" friends, people who you may not "play" with, but who you share and interest in kink with and would like to drink, dine, dance, chat.. whatver one might do socially at a fetish event. I tend to use the net as an intellectual resource and although I have online "friends" it would be very different from "hanging" out offline.

This doesn't mean that it isn't fun to get decked out and go to a ball. It is! and we have!... but when we went we knew no one at these events... because it was "pre- online community" and making a friend at an event is not all that easy under the circumstances. The last big events we attended were back in 99 and if you can go back in the way back machine you can see that that was a very different feitsh community online.

Now when we attend one of these events, we are sure to see people we know from online. This is because not only to many online make the rounds of all these events... but they let you know that they do and even scehdule meet ups and so forth. It has really been a merging of the online and offline fetish community. Once you make an offline presence you are a known "character" as opposed to a online "illusion".

So what does one do when one has fetish friends offline? Do you mix them with those who have no idea of your fetish life? Do you compartmentalize? Heck.. sopme people jkust come out.. like a fetish photog or model and don't have a wall between their fetish persona and the non fetish one.

Because of my situtation and that of my wife (who has two children in their early 20s) it is not a great idea to tear down that fetish barrier... so we see very little "benefit" of having another "compartment" in out lives. But if we do go to an event... we certainly can meet and "socialize" with those we know from online.

Can this lead to offline friends without the need for "secrecy"? Sure it can... And it may yet happen... but in our case it will be only because we attend a major local event.

Fetish is different things to different people... and the whole social thing is really a growing phenomena... back in the 70s and the 80s it really didn't exist... certainly as it does today.

One final note about online. Age is less an issue when in the realm of ideas... and more an issue in "complete" frienships. I can get on with people of all ages, but I tend to find friends closer to my own age than many of my online "friends" might be... We don't "party" with my wife's children and their friends... it's a genereation gap thing. I like opera and they like hip hop of whatever kids are listening to these days.

Does this make sense?

pyewacket said...

wow what alot of words! for me I enjoy my isolation.I like my secrets..Going to balls and what not i often think...jeez theres alot more to fetishization that what these people are into! 90% of everone is in the same old, same old, same as everyone else type get up. Like some late 90's fashion thing...its Melbourne i guess, maybe its more adventurous in other places.
The 'fetish' is often a deep, obscure feeling that is hard to come by.It catches me by surprize at unexpected moments.The net opened my world and im gratefull to people who share their stories. In my 'real' life i perfer to keep things to myself and i generally avoid the balls and whatnot. In a way its more fun, but play pen friends would be good and i guess u have to go out to meet them!

Asudem Latex said...

i thought you had emailed me back the corrected one? i really honestly can't tell. when i do proper writing people need to check everything several times..

still no one minds terribly

xx

Oneeyedjack said...

All of what you're saying makes perfect sense Dark. Of course fetish is all things to all people and rightly so. I'm not trying to impose anything on anyone.

I see the online world as simply an extension of the offline one. The people who I am friendly with online, I am friendly with in the hopes of meeting them in the real world one day. Online personas mean nothing to me, and just don't register as "real" until I meet them face to face. Many of my "online" friends are actually people whom I first became friendly with in the real world, so the internet becomes a simple way to stay in touch with them.

Age, gender, sexual orientation all mean nothing to me. I have friends in and out of the fetish scene who range in age from early twenties to the seventies. Even if our interests aren't all aligned, I often find it very insightful to speak to those of other generations. I don't meet people with specific intentions (play/friendship/etc) in mind. I usually read someone's thoughts online and if they interest me, I like to strike up a dialogue with them. If play or anything else arrises from it, that's fine, but we'll let that happen organically.

Anyway... I'm rambling and this whole debate bores the piss out of my (what are we even debating?).

Pyewacket: "...jeez theres alot more to fetishization that what these people are into!"

How do you know if all you see of them is photos from magazines and the web? Because someone likes to go out and party, does that mean they can't have a deep and profound inner fetish life? I certainly do.

To me it just seems like all the living online, without a real world presence is as satisfying as masturbation. I see the internet as a way to gather information on what interests me as well. Then I go out in pursuit of that interest offline and make it a reality.