since the begining of the week i've had an itch i can't scatch. well not a real one, its a metaphor actually... it may have stemmed from wanting to wear the collar and seal it on but deciding against it.
i'm feeling a pull for something permenant. a statement, a sacrifice and a sign of commitment to the latex doll i am becoming.
maybe its the full moon tommorrow, maybe something deep in my soul is crying to be heard. i just really don't know.
i think all of this would be much much easier to do with a loving partner and not having to worry about things like work, rent, food and office politics. as suggested by someone else on email, i just need to wrapped tightly in a corset, ballet boots, gloves etc and left in the basement display case until my body caught up with my pull of my heart.
self conditioning is a very slow process it seems... and i'm making progress - its been over five months now since i put on my latex panties only to remove then too sleep and wash them. likewise my heel training is def moving along at a pace. my arches are hurting when i walk flat footed now.
so i am changing, i am being drawn by something... but somedays i wish it was all happening way faster.